Warm Fuzzies
by Dibsthe1
Summary: Here's the reason Dib keeps treating Gaz so much better than she treats him. NOT literally. Grab your hankies; you never knew I could be such a softie after all. I made just TWO little changes, and they're so tiny, I bet you'll never even notice them. AU


Disclaimer: I don't own it. No, I really don't, no, not at all.

Warning: You will probably need to see your dentist after you read this. At the very least you'll need to run and brush all that sweetness off your teeth!!

Okay. THIS is The Real Warning: Disregard the previous warning.

EDIT: Okay, I obviously didn't lead into this properly, because some of my reviewers missed the point. I never meant for this to be taken literally; I am not saying anything about passing on abuse. I AM saying that people in unbearable situations will keep telling themselves blatant untruths because it shields them from the painful reality.

Please read the Author's Note at the end. Thank you.

**Warm Fuzzies **

She is nestled into the arm of the couch that is closer to the door, waiting, waiting. She taps the buttons on her video game to fill in the time. The faster she taps, the faster the time goes. Some nights he doesn't come home at all, so she plays even faster. Maybe if she plays fast enough, he'll come home, and if she plays as fast as she can, maybe he'll even be in a good mood.

Maybe.

She fervently hopes this is one of those nights, but even if it is, she still has to hope it doesn't turn into one of those Other nights.

After frantically tapping buttons for hours, looking up every time she hears a car drive up the street, she hears a car door slam, close by. She instantly looks up, video game completely forgotten. Her avatar disappears with an electronic scream as the game's monster devours it, but she pays no attention. Nothing, not even her constant video games, is as important to her as this person.

The world calls him Professor Membrane, the world-famous, well-loved child psychologist. People everywhere idolize him for his no-nonsense advice on raising children. "Professor Membrane really knows how to treat a child," everyone says. "Before I asked Professor Membrane's advice, none of my kids obeyed me; now, they all run to do so! " Parents love him, parents all adore him.

But she loves him more than anybody, and she gets to call him Daddy!

She drops the game as she zooms to the door to greet her beloved father.

When the heavy door suddenly flies open, its sharp edge strikes her full in the face. "Ow." Even though she tries not to let the word slip out she can't help it.

Membrane flicks a quick look down at his daughter gazing up adoringly at him... and rubbing her face.

He snickers; he enjoys this.

Whenever something happens that causes her pain he always laughs.

Somehow, this hurts more than being hit by the door. "That hurts, Daddy," she protests.

He sneers, pouring contempt all over her like a bucket of ice water. "Whiner!"

This hurts even more again... but even so she is so grateful to see him she starts to tell him about her whole day.

As soon as she starts speaking, her father cuts her off. "Your voice is making me sick."

Other times her voice puts him in a terrible rage, and she definitely does not want that to happen. Maybe he'll be more interested in video games? She cannot imagine anybody not enjoying video games! She suggests they share some time together playing video games; she'll even let him choose which one -

He whirls, pinning her with an icy glare and raising a fist as if to punch her in the face. "You're bugging me again. Shut up, you moron... or there will be HORRIBLE SUFFERING!"

She cringes, holding her breath, praying he won't beat her, this time, for saying something he isn't in the mood to hear. Fortunately the fear that leaks onto her face and makes her eyes go all big is enough to satisfy him. How much does Membrane enjoy seeing that sparkle in the eyes of his little girl!

As he sits down heavily on the couch she sighs with relief, but her respite is short-lived. Getting comfortable, he decides he wants something to drink. "Go fetch me a coffee, stupid. And you better hope there's some left because if there ISN'T I will destroy you."

Beside herself with gratitude for this second chance, Gaz runs to the kitchen to make the coffee. She doesn't want to disappoint her father. She doesn't want to disappoint her father because she adores him. She also doesn't want to disappoint him because her beloved father will beat her black and blue if she does. However the REAL reason she doesn't want to disappoint her father is because of just how MUCH she adores him! She keeps telling herself, over and over, that that's really the real reason.

It has nothing to do with being beaten black and blue, no, nothing at all.

If she ever stops adoring him, then being threatened and beaten all the time will be completely unbearable altogether. That's why she continues to adore him. Indeed the more he insults and threatens and beats her the more she adores him. Doing that helps her to hide from the truth, that she is terrified out of her wits of him. So well does she hide this, in fact, that she doesn't even know it herself any more. All she does know is that She Must Be The Perfect Daughter, because as long as she IS The Perfect Daughter she won't get hit.

So everything is all okay for everybody.

She frantically urges the coffee to brew faster in the Super Coffee Maker, the one her wonderful brilliant father invented. The whole time this same beloved father snarls dangerously at her, "What the hell is taking you so long?" and "Why are you so lazy?"

It makes her feel horrible to keep him waiting. She pleads, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

He continues to growl threats and insults, threats and insults which grow increasingly violent and humorous.

At last the coffee is ready! Gaz hastily pours a cup and runs to serve it to her beloved father. After all her father does for her, she is so proud and happy that this time she gets to do something for her father!

Membrane snatches the cup from her hand with an impatient snarl.

He never thanks Gaz for anything, so it's okay. It's not like she was expecting him to thank her.

She loves her father so much that she stands close by to watch him drink the coffee, the coffee she made for him.

He takes one sip and immediately throws the full cup at her. Feel free to stop reading and laugh hysterically for a few minutes because this is the funniest part of this whole funny story!

In her desperation not to keep her beloved father waiting, Gaz omitted to add the cream and sugar, and because of that is now covered from head to foot in scalding coffee that will stain all her clothes.

"WHERE IS MY CREAM AND MY SUGAR? YOU FORGOT MY CREAM AND MY SUGAR YOU STUPID USELESS... !"

Grabbing Gaz by the collar of her dress, Membrane mercilessly punches and kicks her to a pulp and when he sits down again she promptly sits on the couch too and cuddles up to him. She loves her daddy. And she knows that somewhere far far away, in some tiny little distant secret place he keeps well hidden way down deep inside himself where no one else... not even her... can see, he loves her too!

Or at least that's what she keeps telling herself.

Playfully, the beloved child psychologist pokes his daughter and catches a fresh bruise. She cries out with the pain and he snickers.

The End... AAAAWWWWWW!

_(A/N) I did say this is a fic about Dib and Gaz, and I stand by my statement. _

_I finally came up with an explanation that actually makes sense to me why Dib keeps practically _encouraging_ Gaz's inhuman savagery to him: one of few ways to cope with being trapped in such an endless hell is to keep lying to oneself through one's teeth. I'm not suggesting Gaz is passing on anything; if you'll notice, Dib isn't even in this one. _

_Why didn't I write this little family moment as we typically see it, with Dib and Gaz themselves? Why indeed. What if I had written this _deliberately _distasteful drabble with Gaz inflicting all of this on Dib... until he cozies up to her... so she can knife him in the back some more? Would it still be unpleasant? Or would these same atrocities suddenly, somehow, look "sweet" and "heartwarming"?_


End file.
